Inside Glimpse of the Pampered Relationship

Interestingly enough, we introduced Tuesday posts as a glimpse into our lives, a behind-the-scenes if you will. Our family of four is always on the go, and Tanner seems to always be involved in some kind of a project or another. Our focus has always been on our family, more specifically our children and raising good, kind people. It never dawned on me there would be interest in our relationship or how we make it work. It’s no secret that Tanner and myself are very different people, which can be confusing to most.  Our individual weakness seems to be the other persons strength, life is about balance. Don’t get me wrong life isn’t all sunshine and roses. We have worked incredibly hard to get to where we are. Our life has been 5 years of a perpetual shitstorm. There has been learning, and adjustment periods and a lot of uncomfortable conversations. Nothing will ever change without those conversations. There were times of religious differences. Tanner thought he was God and I did not.  A lot of our relationship came down to compromise. Realizing the importance of certain things to the other person, the non-negotiables, and then we balance the children around that. I should add that the children’s schedule and extra curriculars always come first. This is a balancing of Tanners going out with friends around what was my work and spa appointments. Our relationship hasn’t been easy, I’m not going to sit here and pretend we have it all figured out, we don’t. However, we try and do better then yesterday, for ourselves for each other and for the relationship. We met at a fairly dark point in both our lives. The thing about relationships is the individual people in them change, you can either resent that or learn to embrace the new version of them, their new hobbies and interests and not fault the old version of themselves that existed.  Allow them to move on in this betterment journey. That being said our relationship isn’t for everybody. But to be in a place to judge it you would need to know our entire story both individually and ours together. Without the knowledge you will never understand how the mundane of life can be a privilege. One of the first pieces of furniture we owned after the fire was a pedicure chair, I wasn’t even convinced I was going to continue down this path. To say I was deflated doesn’t even begin to describe the depths of my despair. I struggled to find joy. Tanner made sure I had the things should I choose to want to start again. Knowing full well it’s what I needed but not wanting to push the subject. Sometimes we all need a loving nudge, Tanners came in the form of dropping a computer in his lap so that he would start to edit once again, it was a shame to see his talents going to waste as much as I understood it. Our relationship isn’t here to impress, its anything but perfect, but here is the secret folks we both show up every day and try harder than the previous day. I don’t do garbage, or fix the broken things, I don’t know how to pump gas, I don’t shovel the snow, or cut the grass. I barely deal with my own mental break downs. Can I do these things? Absolutely! Do I want to? Not in the slightest. I am very fortunate to have a husband that does all of these things, that makes sure there’s always gas in the vehicles in case I venture out knowing damn well that I’m not actually going to. He works long hours to provide us with the lifestyle I’ve always wanted. His lunch is packed for him every night, dinner is on the table when he gets home from work, the house is tidy and his laundry washed. That is unless I’m mad at him then my passive aggressive behind lets him run right out of socks and underwear. I get fancy kitchen appliances as gifts, and I absolutely love it. This works for us, that’s not to say if I’m not feeling well, I must have dinner on the table. He cooks as I whine and get in his way. Does this affect our children? Absolutely not Paige loves to be with dad fixing motorcycles and gets him to teach her the things like changing a tire. Landon prefers hanging out inside, he’s the better cook of the two. Well, this isn’t everyone’s version of what they’d like their relationship to look like and that’s okay. Communication is the key to achieving the results you desire. Date your partner no matter how long it’s been no matter if you are married no matter if it’s been a long week, that you can’t afford to, that you can’t find a sitter. There aren’t any rules on what a date is or is not. After the children are in bed, we have dinner just the two of us, no sitter required. It’s not fancy but its time spent together without our devices, just the two of us.  A fantastic suggestion would be to invest in the adventure challenge, couples edition.  This has become our weekly date night go to.   The inside glimpse of our relationship isn’t very exciting I suppose a notable mention is that he never says no to dogs, perhaps that’s what makes us work. Just kidding.  The work we put into the relationship is why we work. Just moving in the same direction day after day trying to keep our heads above water.  Trying to be better people then we were the day before.  Trying to set the best example of a relationship for our kids to witness everyday.