I'm a bad friend

Did you know that during the start-up phase of your business the bare minimum hours that a small business owner puts in is 60-80 hours a day(Editor here….I noticed the day, and was going to correct to week, but thought Id leave the day as that seems more accurate)… Their regular 40 (sometimes more) hour work week of being in store. Then the rest of the tasks that are required for the day-to-day operations; making products, social media, advertising, website, courses, training, certifications, maintained on the location, sourcing the products etc. Then aside from the business these owners are spouses, parents, and friends as well. I’m a bad friend. This is something that was pointed out to me recently. At first my feelings were hurt, and I was offended, but then I sat and dwelled on this comment. Truth be told I can’t argue that I am a bad friend. I forget to check in, sometimes I don’t get messages right away. My cell service is terrible, so calls hit voicemail without me realizing that my phone is ringing. I only recently learned how to drive, and it stresses me out, I’m not going to just show up. And even if I wanted to truth be told, time is my enemy. When I started on this adventure, I was told that to be successful most people wouldn’t understand my journey and I was going to lose a lot of friendships and if I didn’t have a partner that was just as hungry to make a go at the business then that potentially would fall apart too. At the time I scoffed at what I was being told I was young and thought I knew it all. In hindsight I knew absolutely nothing and should have shut my mouth and opened my ears just a little bit more. Maybe I would have learned things at a faster pace. Late nights, early mornings, our life, my relationship, it all is business centred. I lucked out with a husband who saw value in what I wanted and was hell bent to make my dreams come true. Thank goodness because “they” say that you need to be prepared to financially support your spouse for 3-5 years while they are starting their own business. That’s how long it usually takes to make a profit. This little bit of fun information scared me, and I was hell bent to prove that number wrong. But how do you prove it wrong? You dive deeper and work harder. You obsess over things that never before would you deem relevant. I am hyper aware when clients cancel appointments, I’m hyper aware of when my week is light. Trying to show up light and fun while stressing in the background. Attempting to brainstorm different ideas to get us seen. Not just seen visibility isn’t exactly my issue but turning eyeballs into sales. The age-old question for all small businesses. This results in while the world is still and most normal people are sleeping I am up working and stressing. I can not tell you the last time I have had more then three hours sleep in a night. How does this relate to me being a bad friend you might ask? Well when you are unable to hold space and patience for yourself it makes it increasingly difficult to be what others need of you. When the tasks lists are so long that the 2 hours before I open for services, and 5 hours after I close (usually after 8-12 hours being opened 7 days a week for services) isn’t enough for me to accomplish my to do tasks. The other things sometimes fall by the waste side. Unanswered text messages, forgetting to check in, empty promises of yes when I’m free that sounds amazing. Truth be told I do not have free time. Between the business and trying to build our house and life, I’m just a wee bit stretched thin. I am so eternally grateful for the friends that get it. That hold space while knowing our life is utter chaos at the moment. One described me very well. You are making hay while the sun is shining, after not having the ability to make hay for two years. You are in catch up mode. I am not established I no longer have ten years’ worth of clientele we are in a new area and re-establishing our worth, who we are and what we are capable of doing. I am a bad friend; this bad friend has an end goal in mind of running a successful business so that my husband isn’t supporting me for the next 3 – 5 years, that just sounds terrible to me. Sometimes as difficult as it is we have to understand not always do people intend to be bad friends. Sometimes life is chaos, sometimes the mental capacity is not there. Sometimes the bad friends have their priorities on something for themselves, for their families.